Every troubled relationship gives warning signs that things are going poorly. A spouse or partner will act discontent, or they will become resentful, angry, distant or withdrawn. Pay close attention to these signs; they need to be addressed immediately. You can do that by asking questions about how your partner is feeling about you and about the relationship. Questions such as “Are you getting your needs met in our relationship? If not what would you like different?” Or “What could I do that would make our relationship better for you?” Or simply “What’s wrong?” (You get to address these questions as well.)
Here are some of the early warning signs that your relationship is headed for trouble:
- If either of you feel as if you’re walking on eggshells for fear of your partner’s reaction.
- One of you is controlling, expecting the other person to honor your wishes or to meet your needs, and acting angry, disrespectful or cold if s/he doesn’t. This includes checking up on him/her, asking where s/he was or who s/he talked to, or other ways of being controlling.
- If either of you regard your needs and feelings to be more important than your partners.
- Being uncompromising. The more flexibility, the greater your chances are in being able to work through conflicts successfully.